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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a health and long life. To what extent do you agree or disagree.?

#people #diet #exercise #health #life
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As can be seen, a number of
people
 think that having a healthy meal and workout a lot are not that important for their health and their life in the long term. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with these ideas because stop doing these activities can lead to many negative impacts on their body.
Firstly
, the proportion of invalid
people
 will dramatically increase as they choose to consume food that contains too many fats and oils. Many foods, like french-fried and hamburgers in junk food, contain high quantities of salt, sugar, and unnecessary fats, which cause many diseases,
such
 as diabetes, obesity, and coronary disorder.
For example
, my friend needed to go for a medical check-up every week, for she has high blood pressure and fats due to the belief of not choosing a good diet before eating.
Secondly
, those who do not exercise regularly tend to have a higher risk of the lack of body's muscles and brain disorder when they get older. According to the ministry of health, a person should go to the gym at least twice per week in order to have a longer life expectancy. To encourage citizens to exercise more, the government should use some celebrities in advertisements because most
people
 believe that these celebrities are their idols.
Thus
, they will follow what their role models do. In conclusion, not having a good diet and exercise can cause a lot of disadvantages on humans: an increasing rate of unhealthy populations and a decreasing rate of life expectancy.
Therefore
, we should reshape these
people
's mindsets to give more importance to both things.
Submitted by chansatid on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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