IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or storage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #storage #money #situations
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 find themselves in a position where they must accept what
life
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 has given to them or find a way to move up the ladder.
Although
Linking Words
 accepting your current situation in
life
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 is pragmatic in some cases, I strongly opine that it is still better to put effort to make
improve
Replace the word
improvements
show examples
such
Linking Words
situations
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 as it can bring changes to a certain degree. On the surface, the vast majority of
people
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 are unable to drastically improve their lives in various
countries
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 that are suffering from dire economic conditions or affected by internal conflicts. Business Insider,
for example
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, reported in 2021 that Afghanistan is one of the poorest
countries
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 in the world due to civil
war
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 and terrorism.
Therefore
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, it is unfair to suggest citizens of those
countries
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to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
find ways to improve their lives, which might be an impossible task. Alternatively,
such
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people
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 may feel that they are better off accepting their
situations
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 and focus on their survival.
However
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, these circumstances are rare but still exists in various nations across the globe.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, few would argue that even in the most difficult
situations
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, individuals can make their
life
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 better through continuous effort and
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
.
In other words
Linking Words
, several
countries
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 achieved the status of superpower through the strong willpower and determination of their citizens.
For instance
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, post-world
war
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countries
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such
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 as Japan, Germany, South Korea, etcetera, were devasted by
war
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 to a greater extent, but they became economic superpowers. After world
war
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 two, Japan was left with a huge national debt, their infrastructure to rubble and left their population depleted. By not accepting their circumstances and the hardworking mentality of the
people
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, made them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be the leaders of technology through notable companies like Sony, Panasonic, Nissan, Toyota, etcetera. To conclude,
although
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 accepting rough
situations
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 can be practically true in some scenarios, I strongly opine that
people
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 should work hard towards the upliftment to have a better
life
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.
Submitted by jerinjohn17 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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