some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it discuss both views and give your own opinion

Advertising is one of the most crucial parts of

people

's lives. If a question about that the ads persuading to buy is addressed, it will be challenging for us to make a decision on

this

controversial issue. Some

people

are a firm

believer

Fix the agreement mistake

believers

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

promotion can draw

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

attention thanks to earworm notice,

however

, others have always shown intense devotion to

people

ignore

Correct pronoun usage

who ignore

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

This

essay will discuss both viewpoints and explain my own opinion. The

first

and most obvious reason for persuading customers is some

such

as discount making the customer spent the less money but get the more items. It is

cleary

Correct your spelling

clear

show examples

that the shelf in the department store which has the red tag for a discount will draw the attend's customers.

Regarding to

Change preposition

The

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research from a local university in Bangkok shows that the products

Change preposition

show examples

discount

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

increased sales twice higher than

Change preposition

show examples

normal

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

This

is on account of the promotion is successful.

On the other hand

, some

people

think that the propaganda can't persuade the client anymore, due to the overclaim to mislead the customers. There are a lot of advertisements on the television

for example

cosmetics which claimed that it can make

people

white within 3 days

as a result

they don't believe

this

type of commercial story and refuse to purchase the product. In conclusion, while it is apparent that the sale can be grown by

can persuade the

people

to purchase.

Nevertheless

people

were bored from the

exaggerating. In my opinion, if the company use the

in a proper direction, it will easily generate sales.

Submitted by sahapol.rs on Wed Aug 25 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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