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Band 6.5

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults
When educational
issues
 come into view, there exist controversial opinions. Some individuals believe that
children
 can make
mistakes
 in order to learn and receive life experience. Meanwhile, others hold the notion that following adults’ instructions and avoiding
problems
 will benefit the
kids
. In my opinion, making
mistakes
 is a double-edged knife that contains both positive impacts and drawbacks on
children
. The writing below will discuss both views.
First
 of all, it is clearly pointed out that stumble is part of the growing-up process.
In other words
, facing
problems
 help
kids
 understand how to figure out solutions and avoid them in the future.
For example
, when I was a child, I got burnt by touching a boiling kettle;
therefore
, I learned a lesson that equipment with high temperatures can damage and have bad impacts on my health. Since
then
, I always remember and never get burnt again.
Besides
, there was a sentence that “Failure teaches success”.
Moreover
,
mistakes
 develop
children
’s personalities.
For instance
, only avoiding
mistakes
 and following instructions will turn
children
 into robots. They will not have their own opinions and cannot perform well without guides. By getting through struggles and learning life lessons, the
kids
 will be solid and brave in the future. In brief, solving
problems
 provides
children
 with knowledge and personal development.
On the other hand
,
issues
 may have negative effects on
children
’s mental health or personalities. Specifically, in the early stage of growth, huge
issues
 could be hard and uncontrollable for
children
 to handle
such
 as parents’ quarrels or break-ups. These
problems
 can lead to a child’s depression or social obstacles.
Moreover
, there are some
issues
 that can leave a bad trait in a child’s profile,
for instance
, accidentally killing a person. These
mistakes
 cannot be undone and will block their future. Summarily, making
mistakes
 have two-sided effects.
Therefore
, adults should look after their
kids
 and make smart decisions for the
children
’s growth.
Submitted by haioanhcongviec on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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