IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays environmental awareness is rising very quickly among people.
Hence
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, one section of society holds the view that e-vehicles should become the dominant type of
cars
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 by replacing traditional
cars
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 that use fossil resources as fuel. From the point of my personal view, I believe that the advantages of changing the source of power in the automobile industry far outweigh its disadvantages. The first reason to consider electronic
cars
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 more beneficial than traditional ones is their less harmful impact on nature. The carbon footprint from electronic
cars
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 is significantly less compared to
cars
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 that use fossil fuels as a source of power.
This
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 reduces e-
cars
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’ destructive effect on the environment by the more infinitesimal amount of carbon dioxide and greenhouse gases released into the atmosphere.
As a result
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, humanity will be one step closer to the eradication of several problems
such
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 as global warming and air pollution.
On the other hand
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, some individuals argue that electronic vehicles cost more than traditional
cars
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.
However
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, the savings that are made
due to
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 the cheapness of electricity are immensely higher than the cost difference.
Also
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, the details and repairments of e-
cars
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 account for a lower price than traditional
cars
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 do.
Consequently
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, the replacement of ordinary
cars
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 with electronic models may be a reason for financial benefits and an opportunity to spend more money on other fields of their lives
to
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for
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 a tremendous number of people. As an example from my own experience, my father has purchased a new electronic car recently.
This
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 investment made it possible to economy approximately 2.000$ per month which is a sweeping contribution to our family budget. In conclusion,
while
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 some may believe that traditional
cars
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 use fossil fuels to operate much better than electric vehicles, I assert that e-
cars
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 are more effective since they are greener and more inexpensive.

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coherence cohesion
The essay shows some organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression of ideas could be strengthened. To enhance this, consider adding clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more deliberate transitions between ideas to guide the reader through the argument more fluidly.
task achievement
You introduced the topic and provided a clear opinion, which is commendable. However, make sure each body paragraph fully expands upon the reason you've posed, to give a more comprehensive coverage of your argument. It is essential to keep each paragraph unified around a single idea and to delve deeper into how this idea supports your overall position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
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