IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays environmental awareness is rising very quickly among people.
Hence
Linking Words
, one section of society holds the view that e-vehicles should become the dominant type of
cars
Use synonyms
 by replacing traditional
cars
Use synonyms
 that use fossil resources as fuel. From the point of my personal view, I believe that the advantages of changing the source of power in the automobile industry far outweigh its disadvantages. The first reason to consider electronic
cars
Use synonyms
 more beneficial than traditional ones is their less harmful impact on nature. The carbon footprint from electronic
cars
Use synonyms
 is significantly less compared to
cars
Use synonyms
 that use fossil fuels as a source of power.
This
Linking Words
 reduces e-
cars
Use synonyms
’ destructive effect on the environment by the more infinitesimal amount of carbon dioxide and greenhouse gases released into the atmosphere.
As a result
Linking Words
, humanity will be one step closer to the eradication of several problems
such
Linking Words
 as global warming and air pollution.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals argue that electronic vehicles cost more than traditional
cars
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the savings that are made
due to
Linking Words
 the cheapness of electricity are immensely higher than the cost difference.
Also
Linking Words
, the details and repairments of e-
cars
Use synonyms
 account for a lower price than traditional
cars
Use synonyms
 do.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the replacement of ordinary
cars
Use synonyms
 with electronic models may be a reason for financial benefits and an opportunity to spend more money on other fields of their lives
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a tremendous number of people. As an example from my own experience, my father has purchased a new electronic car recently.
This
Linking Words
 investment made it possible to economy approximately 2.000$ per month which is a sweeping contribution to our family budget. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some may believe that traditional
cars
Use synonyms
 use fossil fuels to operate much better than electric vehicles, I assert that e-
cars
Use synonyms
 are more effective since they are greener and more inexpensive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay shows some organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression of ideas could be strengthened. To enhance this, consider adding clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more deliberate transitions between ideas to guide the reader through the argument more fluidly.
task achievement
You introduced the topic and provided a clear opinion, which is commendable. However, make sure each body paragraph fully expands upon the reason you've posed, to give a more comprehensive coverage of your argument. It is essential to keep each paragraph unified around a single idea and to delve deeper into how this idea supports your overall position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: