IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many things which were done in the home by hand in the past are now done by machines. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#home #hand #machines #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Chores done manually earlier are now being done by dishwashers, food processors, or electric sewing
machines
. Despite some obvious advantages of
this
 trend, I believe that these are outweighed by the disadvantages. On the one hand, there are a number of major benefits when
tasks
 at home are now completed by
machines
. The
first
 advantage is that these
appliances
 have reduced the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 required to perform many household
tasks
 that were earlier done by hand. Thanks to the advent of
appliances
,
such
 as washing
machines
, dishwashers, and vacuum cleaners, the majority of household
tasks
 can now be done with little effort.
Therefore
, overworked and exhausted adults no longer have to worry about tedious
tasks
, so they can save their precious time and spend quality time with loved ones. The
second
 benefit is that these
machines
 can help complete the
tasks
 more precisely than humans who work with hands.
For example
, more work can be accomplished by using
appliances
 like the mixer grinder and juice maker.
On the other hand
, I believe that the drawbacks are more significant than
such
 benefits because the popularity of these
machines
 has unwanted environmental consequences.
Firstly
, home
appliances
, including vacuum cleaners and washing
machines
, are made using nonrenewable and relatively scarce resources. When used, they are powered by large quantities of electricity, which is often obtained by burning fossil fuels.
This
 obviously causes an increase in carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, which would be a significant contributor to global warming.
Secondly
, as these items are deliberately designed only to
last
 for a limited period, they soon have to be replaced and are thrown into landfill sites, resulting in air and water pollution.
As a result
,
this
 spells disaster for the lives of all plants and animals on the Earth and humans alike. In conclusion, I would argue that using these household
appliances
 brings more drawbacks than benefits.
Submitted by cuong11093 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: