Some people assert that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #college #students #jobs

The importance and popularity of part-time

jobs

have grown over the past few years. Some people argue that

college

students

only concentrate on their major.

However

, I strongly believe that what

students

have part-time

jobs

should be spread widely.

To begin

with, one advantage of having a part-time job is that

students

have a good deal of experience through their work.

In other words

, the experience coming from the part-time job exert a great influence on selecting their full-time

jobs

For example

, if there were someone who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

trouble

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

his major, he would still

agonizing

Change the verb form

agonize

be agonizing

show examples

whether he

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to keep going or not even after

admissioning

Correct your spelling

admission

admissions

school

Fix the infinitive

to school

show examples

However

, by behaving, they can judge what they choose about their

jobs

Furthermore

, they will take action on their major either changing or adding, or they will quite a

college

. Eventually, they will be able to draw their life

Change preposition

show examples

correct

Add an article

the correct

show examples

direction which they want. On top of that, there is another advantage of working as

part-time

Add an article

a part-time

show examples

worker. To be specific, they can learn

Change preposition

about

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

sense of economy. For

instatnce

Correct your spelling

instance

, our parents

Change the verb form

are

show examples

willing to provide financial backing until we graduate our

college

Besides

, no parents want their children to go through

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hardship, even if they have a financial problem.

In addition

, they will learn about

value

Add an article

the value

show examples

of money and

Correct article usage

the method

show examples

method

Fix the agreement mistake

methods

show examples

of spending money through suffering from

hard-work

Correct your spelling

hard work

show examples

Therefore

, they will be able to have

a good habits

Correct the article-noun agreement

a good habit

good habits

show examples

of spending money after

then

. In conclusion, it is clear that working as

part-time

Add an article

the part-time

a part-time

show examples

worker

Replace the word

work

show examples

is much harder while

students

are studying in

college

Nevertheless

, I suppose that

students

should have a part-time job

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

show examples

Submitted by saehwan0s0 on Thu Aug 26 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

time management
practical experience
competitive edge
responsibility
financial independence
budgeting
academic performance
relevance
professional network
burnout
balance
accountability
maturity

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Some people assert that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be awarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important that the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing?

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situatuon. To what extent do you agree or disagree?