IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

As communication technology develops, people are interacting with each other in different ways. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages?

#communication #technology #people #trend
It is an irrefutable fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 latest tech gadgets have made a big
breathrough
Correct your spelling
breakthrough
 in the way individuals interact these days. Due to
this
 drift, a considerable change has been seen in people interactions and
this
 tendency has proven to be more beneficial,
although
 there is a downside to
this
 phenomenon.
This
 essay shall intend to portray how the merits outweigh the demerits of technical knowledge sharing.
To begin
 with, the most significant impact of technology is that the speed of communication has been increased astonishingly. A large number of masses can connect over the internet at a
lighting
Correct your spelling
lightning
show examples
 speed.
Furthermore
, the usage of mobile phones is intuitive to all age groups and is user-friendly to different types of generations.
For instance
, as per the statistics, more than 38 billion creeds are connected over the social media platforms
such
 as
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
Whatsapp
.
In addition
, computers have proven to be a boon for learners.
Likewise
, students can benefit from the abundant information available at just a touch of
button
Add an article
a button
show examples
.
For example
, youtube provides humungous data about science expeditions which
motivates
Change the verb form
motivate
show examples
 youngsters to understand deep concepts.
On the contrary
, in
this
 cutting-edge
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
 it is conspicuous that, there has been a downfall in face-to-face communications.
Consequently
, the close-knit relationships have been impacted, due to short and concise messages through mobile phones. As an example, in recent times wedding cards are posted over a message on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cell phones rather than the traditional methods that were followed earlier.
Secondly
, many pretend to be glamorous and reveal
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 personal life over the media. In order to, gain attention adolescents try to be pretentious by posting several videos. To illustrate,
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
 has been flooded with
Add an article
the
a
show examples
pompous
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
show examples
 who are just attention seekers. To conclude,
technological
Add an article
the technological
a technological
show examples
 revolution has drastically changed the means by which
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 race is communicating in recent times. Overall the positive effect
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 far seen overpowering the negative impact if the technology is used in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 correct mode.
Submitted by madhuranijadhav on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: