IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

more and more business ,as well as individuals ,are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather that being face to face .discuss the advantage and disadvantage of using technology for communicating.

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in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 advanced world ,people are relying on technology more than ever.it has brought a considerable shift in the way of communication between individuals and
enterprise
Fix the agreement mistake
enterprises

It seems that enterprise may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 take place. so that people prefer online contact to direct taking
while
Add an article
a while

The noun phrase while seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 may cause certain problems too. There are plenty of benefits of technology in communication .
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 , technology brings people from all over the world closer,which is
the
Change the article
apply

It appears that the article the is unnecessary before the adjective inevitable. Consider making a change.

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inevitable while running a business.
moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 encourages
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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human beings to handle a business even short or long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances

It seems that distance may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 without a barrier .

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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