Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, many well-known celebrities are involved in supporting international aid

organizations

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organisations

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through fundraising campaigns, public events, and social media. Some

people

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believe that their involvement helps raise awareness of global issues.

Nevertheless

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, others take an opposing stance and argue that it makes these problems seem less significant.

This

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essay will discuss both views and present my opinion. The greatest benefit of celebrities’ involvement in international aid

organizations

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organisations

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is their wide public influence. Because they are widely

recognized

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recognised

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and trusted by many

people

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, they can spread information about global issues much more quickly than charities alone.

This

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encourages more

people

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to learn about these problems and motivates them to donate money, volunteer, or participate in fundraising campaigns.

As a result

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, aid

organizations

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organisations

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are able to gain greater public support.

For instance

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, when a well-known public figure participates in a disaster relief, the campaign is more likely to receive widespread media coverage, encouraging more

people

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to provide assistance.

On the other hand

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, celebrity involvement may

also

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reduce the effectiveness of charity campaigns. Since public attention is often drawn to well-known figures, the humanitarian issue itself can become secondary.

Instead

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of gaining a deeper understanding of the problem, many

people

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are more interested in the celebrities’ appearances, personal lives, or opinions.

As a result

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, the campaign may generate publicity without increasing public awareness of the actual issue or encouraging meaningful action.

For example

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, media coverage of a fundraising event may focus primarily on the celebrities in attendance

while

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providing only limited information about the purpose of the campaign and the

people

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it aims to support. In conclusion,

although

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this

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approach may occasionally shift attention away from the real issues, I believe that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. It has the potential to encourage greater public participation and increase support for humanitarian causes.

apichaya4768

Aug 4, 2026

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task response

Score: 7. To move to 8, make your own view stronger in the last part. Say why the good side is more important than the bad side, not only that it is.

task response

Your examples are clear, but they are general. Add one short real or more exact example to make your points stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Score: 8. Your paragraph order is very good. To make it even better, add a little more link between each main point and the final view.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas repeat “public attention” and “awareness”. You can join or cut a few lines so each paragraph has one main point and moves on.

task response

You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. Your main idea is easy to understand.

task response

Your examples fit your points. They show how a famous person can bring more people to a cause, but can also take attention from it.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear order: start, first view, other view, and end. This makes it easy to read.

coherence and cohesion

You use clear links such as “On the other hand”, “For instance”, and “As a result” well.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

international aid organizations
draws attention
less important
famous people
celebrities
volunteer support
overshadow
dilute
sustainability
endorsement
genuine
advocacy
deeper understanding
engaged
informed base
committed

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Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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