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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Topic 14: (25/06/2016) Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #people #government #money #lifestyle #illness #treatment
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Some
people
 assert that
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policymakers
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policy makers
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policymakers
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 should prioritize
national
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the national
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 budget to empowering residents to maintain=adopt a healthy lifestyle rather than allotting money to curing ill
patients
 since it serves no
purposes
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purpose
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. In my personal view, I disagree with that viewpoint and I believe that two duties are equally important, so they deserve to be financially supported
from
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by
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 central authorities. Granted= admittedly, there is no denying that it is integral for governments to invest money in incentivizing citizens to follow a desirable lifestyle. One of the most cited reasons is that if
people
 are health conscious, they are less likely to incur latent
diseases
 in the long run, which not only deters them from life
threating
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threatening
treating
diseases
,
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apply
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 but
also
 avoids being a burden for their beloved ones and for the whole society.
For example
, young
people
 have awareness of confining themselves to greasy and sugar fast food, carrying a high risk to their health; they will not possess a high incidence of getting those serious
diseases
such
 as obesity or diabetes in their later life. Irrefutably,
although
 diverting coffer to implement public health campaigns is of the essence, I chime with the idea that it is absurd to overlook=disregard the importance of curing
of
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ill
patients
.
Firstly
, if national officials do not financially subsidize
for
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sick
people
, it can take a heavy toll on both those
people
 and the whole nation. Indeed, when
patients
 with fatally contagious
diseases
 are not treated, they unintentionally spread their illness to numerous other
people
, posing a detrimental threat to both the community
,
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 and even worse, the whole population, triggering financial and mental burdens on central leaders.
Additionally
, helping and curing sick
people
 lay a foundation for medical advances and represent a moral attitude and lifestyle of a nation. It is undeniable that while medical practitioners treat
patients
 with unfamiliar symptoms,
breakthrough
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breakthroughs
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 and medical leaps are uncovered, facilitating them to experiment to alleviate these
diseases
 for the
next
patients
 and usher new therapies in
medicine
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the medicine
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 industry. In brief, I believe that national leaders need to apply two approaches simultaneously to promote residents to have good well-being as well as avoid potential risks and try exploring new strides in
medical
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the medical
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 field.
Submitted by luongthuhienpipen on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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