IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that capital punishment is a brutal decision and should be abolished. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #punishment #decision
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People have different views about the death penalty
is
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as
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 a ruthless judgement and would
be revoke
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be revoked
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. I believe that the death penalty should be remain because not only can it serve as a deterrent to serious crimes but it
also
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 means that taxpayers’ money won’t be spent on taking care of the
criminals
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 for life. There are several reasons why I would argue against capital
punishment
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is
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as
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 a cruel arbitration and should be repealed.
Firstly
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, the death penalizing will be
warning
Correct article usage
a warning
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 to the people of a country that if they break the severe laws they would be decided to be the highest level of
punishment
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.
Secondly
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, not only
the
Add a missing verb
is the
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 deterrent of crimes but it makes regulation and peace of society
also
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. A scary
punishment
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 will make
very
Correct pronoun usage
it very
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 simple for the government to control them,
in addition
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; no more incidents can occur and to permanently reduce violence and crimes.
Finally
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, the sentence that a felon man should live is equivalent to the budget that we have to pay
the
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for the
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 care of
criminals
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 with a large taxpayers’ money whatever food or medicine. Some of them were jailed for over 50 years and dies.
Moreover
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; they are not
the
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in the
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 best interest of the country, so these
criminals
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, when proven guilty, should punish the state severely for cutting off both budgets and illegal returns because many
criminals
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 have always committed serious harm in the same way when they are released from custody.
For instance
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, serial murder case or violation case usually makes the same mistake, even though they are sentenced to years in prison, so it is a clear indication that they are not even aware of their guilt. In conclusion, I would definitely argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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capital
punishment
Use synonyms
 be
canceled
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cancelled
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 will make matters worse.
Submitted by jtarasit on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • capital punishment
  • deterrent
  • irreversible
  • wrongful conviction
  • moral implications
  • life imprisonment
  • societal impact
  • abolition
  • justice system
  • rehabilitation
  • ethical considerations
  • humanitarian perspectives
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