In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that
crime
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rates have increased in many countries, and some people attribute
this
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trend to violent images in television programmes and computer games.
While
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others argue that there are more significant factors contributing to
crime
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,
this
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issue remains widely debated.
Although
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some may agree with
this
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view, I partly support it
due to
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several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that exposure to violent
media
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can influence
behaviour
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, particularly among young people. To illustrate, repeated exposure to violent content may normalise aggressive actions and reduce sensitivity to violence.
For instance
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, children who frequently watch violent programmes or play violent video games may imitate
such
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behaviour
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or become less aware of its consequences.
In addition
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, excessive consumption of
such
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media
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may encourage negative attitudes and increase the likelihood of risky
behaviour
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. Another point that should not be overlooked is that
crime
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is influenced by a variety of complex social factors beyond
media
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exposure. To clarify, issues
such
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as poverty, unemployment, lack of education, and family environment play a more significant role in shaping criminal
behaviour
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.
For example
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, individuals living in disadvantaged conditions may turn to
crime
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due to
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financial pressures or limited opportunities.
This
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suggests that
while
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the
media
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may have some influence, it is not the primary cause of criminal activity. To recapitulate, it is evident that violent
media
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can have some impact on
behaviour
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,
while
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the main causes of
crime
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are rooted in broader social and economic factors.
Therefore
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, I believe that
although
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violent images may contribute to
crime
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to some extent, they are not the most significant factor, and addressing underlying social issues is more important.

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task response
Make your view more direct from the start. Say clearly that you partly agree, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one or two more clear and real examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain your main ideas a bit more deeply. Some points are good, but they stay general.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Your essay is easy to follow, but some phrases like 'To clarify' and 'To recapitulate' sound a bit forced.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one clear main point, then develop it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make the flow between sentences smoother by using simple and natural connectors.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are mostly in a logical order, so the reader can follow your argument easily.
task response
You answer the question well and give a balanced view.
task response
You stay on the topic all through the essay.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • correlation
  • aggressive behavior
  • desensitization
  • copycat effect
  • media literacy
  • violent imagery
  • scapegoat
  • media consumption
  • psychological impact
  • content rating
  • parental supervision
  • media influence
  • computer games
  • behavioral studies
  • socio-economic factors
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