Sending criminal to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?
The traditional approach to dealing with criminals often involves sending them to jail.
However
, Linking Words
education
and job training are more effective ways to rehabilitate and reintegrate them into Use synonyms
society
. I totally agree with Use synonyms
this
perspective, as these methods can address the root causes of criminal behaviour and reduce the likelihood of reoffending.
To start with, one key advantage of vocational training and Linking Words
education
is their ability to reduce recidivism. By equipping offenders with skills that help them secure employment, they are less likely to return to criminal activities to support themselves. Use synonyms
For instance
, programs that provide vocational training in fields, like construction , culinary arts, or technology have shown that former inmates who participate in Linking Words
such
programs are more likely to find stable jobs and become financially independent after release result, reducing their chances of reoffending and contributing to safer communities.
Linking Words
Secondly
, many individuals commit crimes Linking Words
due to
a lack of Linking Words
education
or poor economic opportunities. Providing Use synonyms
education
and job training helps manage these underlying issues, giving individuals an alternative path to a productive life. To illustrate, educational programs that teach basic literacy, financial management, and interpersonal skills can empower lawbreakers to make better choices and improve their quality of life, which ultimately benefits Use synonyms
society
as a whole. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
this
rehabilitation approach allows individuals to reintegrate into Linking Words
society
with greater confidence and self-sufficiency.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
prisons serve an important role in public safety, focusing solely on incarceration does not effectively address the root causes of crime. By offering Linking Words
education
and job training, Use synonyms
society
can provide offenders with the tools they need to succeed, reducing recidivism and promoting rehabilitation.Use synonyms
Submitted by almirasartayeva on
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Coherence and Cohesion
While you have introduced the topic clearly and provided a coherent structure, ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. This will enhance overall cohesion.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples. While the examples you provided are relevant, they could be more specific with data or case studies to solidify your argument.
General
Check for minor grammatical and punctuation errors. Although they don't significantly detract from the essay, correcting them will improve clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
Task Achievement
You have presented a balanced argument, considering both the benefits of education and job training for criminals.
Task Achievement
The examples used are relevant and help to illustrate your points clearly.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.