At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people.
Nowadays, many countries face the issue of overpopulation. There is no doubt,
every
age Correct word choice
that every
groups
are important to build the nation. Some Fix the agreement mistake
group
people
were arguing
, Wrong verb form
argue
the
increased youth population is more effective Correct word choice
that the
rather
than the older Rephrase
apply
people
. This
essay will explore both opinions and express negative
and positive sides.
Correct article usage
the negative
To begin
, the highest
number of younger population Correct word choice
apply
was
increased Unnecessary verb
apply
by
Change preposition
in
following
decades. It has a number of advantages. Correct article usage
the following
Such
as youth crowds could work under pressure working environment, they can cope with difficult situations and handle with
Change preposition
apply
the
heavy equipment rather than Correct article usage
apply
the
elder Correct article usage
apply
people
. Moreover
, youth
Correct your spelling
young
people
could work more effective and efficient manner, while
they have various abilities which are needed to
the present. Change preposition
in
Such
as the level of creativity, new technology, cope with artificial intelligence and many other talents. Younger’s are updated
than Correct quantifier usage
more updated
the
seniors. Companies can select Correct article usage
apply
proper
employees most suitable to the Correct article usage
the proper
organization
culture and background. Consider with the government they could improve production level and domestic productions, export income as well. Change noun form
organization's
Besides
, the government can reduce expenditures that are under the health care and medications category, while
they can use public money for various projects like to develop
infrastructures and other public services.
Change the verb form
developing
However
, on the other ,hand older resides
, have more past experience, sense, talents and subject knowledge. Replace the word
residents
For instance
, especially in the motor mechanic industry
older workers know more details regarding the vehicles and spare parts than trainers. One major drawback in their knowledge has been outdated considered with the modern world.
In conclusion, without age ,barriers all humans are more valuable, Add a comma
,industry
while
every single person has contributed their strength to the Correct word choice
and
country
economy and development.Change noun form
country's
Submitted by kasun.sanjayacool on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction
Consider revising your introduction. The thesis statement is weak and does not clearly outline the structure of the essay.
language
There are several issues with grammar and sentence structure throughout the essay. Make sure verbs and subjects agree, and try to reduce the use of comma splices.
argument
Try to explore the negatives of a young population as well, to give more balance to the argument.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that subsequent sentences relate to this topic. In your second paragraph, the link between the younger population and government spending on health care is unclear.