Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Many
people
around the world shift abroad for better work opportunities in order to earn more money and live a better
lifestyle
.
However
, leaving friends and family behind to establish a new life outside has its own advantages and disadvantages. In
this
essay, I will discuss both of them and
also
tell why I feel it is still advantageous to step out. I think, one of the most important advantages of migrating to a better place is financial growth. When
people
move out, they have their reasons in mind, which
also
helps them to be successful and make more money.
For example
, many
people
from India move to the USA, where the opportunities are far better and
also
pay really well. Another extremely important merit is the desired
lifestyle
that one can have in a first-world country like the USA.
For instance
,
people
achieve their dreams of having a bigger house, a better car etc. which is rather too difficult to accomplish in their homeland. Meanwhile, there are a few demerits of staying away from family and friends,
such
as homesickness and cultural shock. Very often, most migrants miss the home where they grew up, their parents and
also
their peers. Another major disadvantage is the cultural differences, in spite of earning more money and having a better
lifestyle
one still misses its own culture.
For example
, many
people
who move from India to the USA miss Indian food. In conclusion, I feel,
people
take a huge step
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
leaving their loved ones behind and moving to a better place for financial growth and a better
lifestyle
.
This
,in turn, gives them homesickness and cultural shock at times. I still believe that, despite knowing the disadvantages,
people
must see the bright side and step out.
Submitted by akshatdarora on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear central idea and that examples are fully developed. Consider providing counterarguments and addressing them. This approach demonstrates critical thinking and will strengthen your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences contribute to the overall argument, avoiding minor redundancies and maintaining a tight focus. For instance, avoid repetitive phrases and provide a more varied sentence structure. This will enhance the sophistication of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt adequately, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is sound, with a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion. Each paragraph flows logically to the next, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: