The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph illustrates the ratio of
sodium
, saturated fat and added
sugar
in four average different meals consumed by Americans. The percentage of these three nutrients in
breakfast
,
dinner
,
lunch
and
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
that Americans generally consumed are given they detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
health if consumed in plenty of quantity.
Overall
,
dinner
and
lunch
are
the
Change the article
a
show examples
large number of
sodium
and saturated fat that Americans
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consume. In the same way,
snack
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high portion of added
sugar
According to
the illustration, The
proportionof
Correct your spelling
proportion of
sodium
, The total of
dinner
and
lunch
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cover more than three
third
Fix the agreement mistake
thirds
show examples
of
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
43% and 29% respectively. In
contrat
Correct your spelling
contrast
,
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
snack
and
breakfast
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of
sodium
about 14%.
Next
,
The
Change preposition
in The
show examples
saturated fat pie chart,
The
Correct your spelling
That
show examples
dinner
is the most significant sector of saturated fat
account
Replace the word
accounting
show examples
for 37%
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is more than
lunch
by 11%. Both
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
and
breakfast
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cover approximately
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
of
chart
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
21% and 16% respectively.
Finally
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adding
sugar
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
snack
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
that is
the most ingredient in added
sugar
,
dinner
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
around 23%,
lunch
use about nearly 20% and 16% for
breakfast
.
Submitted by poomdecha2546 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar, breakfast, dinner, lunch, snack with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average percentages
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • meal
  • typical meals
  • categories
  • high percentage
  • distribution
  • patterns
  • trends
  • nutrient-dense
  • data
  • comparison
  • summarize
  • reporting main features
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