A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

#people #amount #violence #tv #cinema #actions #increases #society

Watching movies on television and in cinemas has become an indispensable part of people's leisure time in

this

contemporary society. There is concern that

quantity

Correct article usage

the quantity

show examples

violence

shown on these media means leads to the young generation absorbing a dangerous pattern of

behaviour

which in turn contributes to the rise in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violence

in our community. I

am actually agree

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actually agree

show examples

with

this

notion

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and opine that there are several actions that can be taken to remedy

this

problem. It is evident that movies shown on television or in cinemas have become more violent than ever before. By using myriads of effects and animations, adolescents experience not only instant thrills and gratifications by watching these movies, but

also

absorb perilous behaviours

subsequently

Consequently

, they may depict

this

type of

behaviour

indirectly at the school or in society, contributing to the

further

rise in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violence

in the community.

Numberous

Correct your spelling

Numerous

actions could be taken in order to remedy

this problems

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this problem

these problems

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First

, a

government sponsored

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government-sponsored

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compaign

Correct your spelling

campaign

could

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

awareness among

young

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the young

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generation about the danger, which youngsters often succumb to without being aware of it.

Second

, the most powerful solution could be to subsidise prominent action

heros

Correct your spelling

heroes

hero

and actors to spread the message about the risk of adopting

this

behaviour

and the negative impact of it on individuals as well as in society as a whole.

Finally

, parents should be involved early as possible in case of pupils exhibiting

Remove the article

apply

show examples

behaviour

not complying with the rules

establish

Change the form of the verb

established

show examples

in the school. In conclusion, it is evident that the proportion as well

severity

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the severity

show examples

violence

in televisions and cinemas has increased in recent years, which corresponds to the level of

violence

reported in our community. I believe that it is imperative that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

, moviemakers as well as parents try to combat

this

development by every means they have

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show examples

their disposal.

Submitted by ab on Fri Aug 27 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

desensitization
crucial stage
moral and ethical understandings
external factors
profound impact
reflection
mitigate
stricter regulations
depiction
empathy
conflict resolution
collaboration
conscious
impact
promoting
culture of peace
non-violence
public awareness campaigns
community programs

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A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

Fully explain your ideas

The best way to obtain/ the key to/ most important factor in job satisfaction is salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Best-way)

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access.