Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Government should concentrate their resources on educating people about the risk they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

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Today, media coverage commonly dwells on large-scale disasters,

such

Linking Words

as earthquakes and floods that have cost plenty of expenditure.

Hence

Linking Words

, the officials supposedly allocate their funding to foster inhabitants' intellect to tackle local issues rather than mull over the problem.

In addition

Linking Words

, considering the topic, I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion, as prioritizing local

risks

Use synonyms

could save more lives in the long run.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the frequency and impact on society have led to a paradigm shift towards local issues that are prone to come about.

For instance

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, road accidents and chronic illnesses,

such

Linking Words

as cancer and diabetes are leading causes of death in numerous nations, which exceed the detrimental effects of natural disasters.

Consequently

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, educating people with appropriate schooling as a viable solution is inevitably able to mitigate a simple problem, case in point, safer driving habits, and healthier lifestyles.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in terms of financial spending, paying more attention to local

risks

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

more cost-effective. In fact, it is noticeable that the government has already contributed a huge amount of money to head off the natural challenge, which is unpredictable.

However

Linking Words

, life merit will be grasped if the funding is allocated and addressed to educate people about local

risks

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, facilitating learning of promoting healthier eating habits for run-of-the-mill people is a down-to-earth approach to reducing health

risks

Use synonyms

, which is more costly.

To sum up

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is clear that the nation must provide an adequate resource taking into account the number of local accidents in society and the price is not significantly beyond what the community comfortably meets.

soniandriawan1992Mon Sep 16 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and takes a clear position, but it could benefit from more specific examples and data to support the main points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve the overall flow.

task achievement

Refine some sentences for clarity and readability, especially to make complex ideas more easily understood.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating and summarizing your position.

coherence cohesion

The main points are logically structured, and each paragraph stays on-topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

headline-grabbing
disasters
natural disasters
media coverage
sensationalism
local issues
funding
executive resources
resource allocation
risk awareness
domestic fires
road safety
food storage
education initiatives
community engagement
local government
immediate disaster relief
long-term benefits
local risk mitigation

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some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and in the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important to be shared freely.

Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.