IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maintenance of public libraries is a waste of money because of compute technology that has similar functions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#maintenance #libraries #waste #money #technology #functions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The advent of technology has vastly changed the way
people
Use synonyms
 find information.
As a result
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 hold the idea that due to the comparable functions of technological devices why do we have to waste our money to preserve public
libraries
Use synonyms
?
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will be outlined many details why I agree with the sustainable keeping of public
libraries
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, the sustenance of public communal places known as the government has to pay lots of money ,especially the public library. Since computers have widespread
influenced
Replace the word
influence
show examples
 throughout the world, few
people
Use synonyms
 have still read and found resources from
libraries
Use synonyms
 where the government has to pay high prices to reserve it
such
Linking Words
 as the maintenance, stocking lots of books or paying salary for librarians. It would be more beneficial to pay in other facilities that are useful for communities in
this
Linking Words
 modern era.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, If knocking down public
libraries
Use synonyms
 occurred, those who are still fond of reading books and the atmosphere there would have no opportunities to use those facilities. Another merit is that in
this
Linking Words
 society it should be supportive of other
people
Use synonyms
 reducing computers which can negatively affect their physical health.
For instance
Linking Words
, children can concentrate on reading a book with a wider range of information rather than computer technology which can convince them to focus on other things
such
Linking Words
 as Games,Facebook and so on. In conclusion,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 these amenities have relative functions in giving useful resources, I strongly believe that the public library can provide visible benefits for everyone in communities and encourage them to learn more than using computers.
Submitted by Preawlinz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: