People in many countries are spending less time with their families. What are the reasons, and effects of this

#people #countries #time #families #effects

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this

day and age, numerous nations don'

spend enough

time

or don'

have any

time

to meet the family.

This

has affected many relationships, so it goes without saying that the gap in households is one of the most important issues facing today. First of all, several factors force societies don'

have much

time

to spend with themself or even their family

for instance

, working people nowadays have a lot of work that they have to do on

time

so it comes with pressure and stress that they have to face and another's impact reason is technology today are more develop communication with family by mobile is easy and save

time

more than meet them face to face.

Moreover

, large nations think that money is the biggest essential in their life than family. Some people just talk with their birth by telephone on important days.

Second,

a significant effect of

this

point is it can cause a generation gap in the family.

Hence

, when family members don'

meet each other they will not be close with others which will be problems in the long term.

Furthermore

this

issue comes with mental health matters many feel depressed about their role and can'

tell anybody.

For example

, teenagers who need counselling support sometimes there may

feel

Rephrase

sometimes feel

show examples

lonely because their parents do not have enough

time

to take care of them

also

Rephrase

as well as

show examples

older nations.

To sum up

this

effect is a super influence on the public today's busy life schedules and technology power family relationships negatively same as mental health issues in the long term.

Submitted by np.napatping on Sun May 26 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on each point you make. This will help to demonstrate a deeper level of analysis and understanding of the topic. For instance, when mentioning technology, you could discuss how social media or video calls compare to face-to-face interactions.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. Each paragraph should connect smoothly to the next, making the essay easy to follow. Think about using more transitional phrases and linking words.

task achievement

Make sure to provide specific examples to support your points. While you have given some examples, more detailed and varied examples will strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the reasons and effects as required by the prompt, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the task.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your essay well.

task achievement

The idea that technology impacts family communication is a relevant and insightful point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demands of the workplace
digital technology
social media
individualism
erosion of family bonds
emotional distance
strain relationships
emotional support
negative impact
emotional, social, and academic challenges
neglected
guidance and support
stress and mental health issues
anxiety
depression

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People in many countries are spending less time with their families. What are the reasons, and effects of this

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcylces are banned from city center. People are encouraged to use public transports such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free day. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and cociety. To what extent do you agree?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.

As air travel has become cheaper, more and more people are travelling abroad for their vacations instead of visiting places in their own country. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?