Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in man-made environments should no longer exist in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by some that

zoos

Use synonyms

should be closed down and banned in the contemporary world.

However

Linking Words

, I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

view since I strongly believe that

zoos

Use synonyms

play a vital role in protecting

animals

Use synonyms

First

Linking Words

of all, I hold a firm belief that compared to the wildlife environment,

zoos

Use synonyms

can be considered as safer places for animal species, especially those under threat from extinction. It is undeniable that wild

animals

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living in natural habitats may be put at several serious risks

such

Linking Words

as being hunted by predators, suffering from food scarcity or being poached by humans.

This

Linking Words

can be exemplified by deers that are preyed on by meat-eating

animals

Use synonyms

like lions or tigers and can be killed by poachers to get horns and meat.

Otherwise

Linking Words

, when wild

animals

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are raised in

zoos

Use synonyms

, they can be fed

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a nutritious diet on a daily basis and taken care of by medical experts.

Besides

Linking Words

ecological values in terms of protecting

animals

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from threatening risks, I

also

Linking Words

hold a firm belief that humans can gain numerous benefits from the presence of

zoos

Use synonyms

In particular

Linking Words

zoos

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give people, especially children, opportunities to get closer to nature and gain more insights into other creatures. These days, many families choose

zoos

Use synonyms

as a camping place as they can not only have a picnic in a fresh and green area but

also

Linking Words

create chances for children to observe and learn more about different types of

animals

Use synonyms

that they used to see in books or on television,

thus

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boosting their love for nature and awareness of protecting wild

animals

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

zoos

Use synonyms

can be beneficial in terms of entertainment and education for young children. Some animal rights activists hold an argument that keeping

animals

Use synonyms

in cages can negatively affect them since

animals

Use synonyms

can suffer from stress or depression and lose their instincts. I have to admit that in some cases, wild

animals

Use synonyms

cannot get used to the freedom restriction as well as new man-made environments, so they get ill and lose appetite, which leads to starvation and death.

However

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, people nowadays are more environmentally- conscious and fully aware of the importance of other species in the ecosystem.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many

zoos

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all over the world are strictly scrutinized by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

governments or international organizations to make sure that the living conditions are suitable and good for specific species’ survival. In conclusion, I am not in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the objection to

zoos

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as I argue that

zoos

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these days can ensure

animals

Use synonyms

’ development and safety as well as benefit humans in many different ways.

tungpns1811

Aug 28, 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

428 words

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Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in man-made environments should no longer exist in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books, magazines, and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?