IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism is increasing day by day in nations. What are the affects on environment by tourism and what are the solution to curb these problems?

Nowadays
tourism
Use synonyms
 is highly
rasing
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 day by day in the world. There are some serious effects that occur to the environment by tourists.
This
Linking Words
 has been a trend for two decades now, It is like a hobby that every individual
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to travel . So I will illustrate the problems that damage nature, In
below
Correct article usage
the below
show examples
 paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Tourism
Use synonyms
 is
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
worldwide, First when we talk about travelling from other countries creates a high impact on global warming, because by transmitting through an aeroplane it has 60% of the carbon that disturbs the natural air. So
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are different fields in which
this
Linking Words
 impacts.
For example
Linking Words
, the food chain is
also
Linking Words
 deliberately decreased because of the average amount of people. It has a variety of
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and traditions of individual
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
, that
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not match. The major disadvantage is hunting wild animals.
For Example
Linking Words
, going to forests and hunting the varied species
also
Linking Words
 should be taken into account.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
As
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 is a great source of revenue. By overcoming
above stated
Add a hyphen
above-stated
show examples
 problems,
t's
Correct your spelling
it's
 easy to generate income and
also
Linking Words
 it's an advanced way of communicating and making social relations with others. So to
removing
Wrong verb form
remove
show examples
this
Linking Words
, we should strictly make them understand that coming from ships ,
cruises
Correct word choice
and cruises
show examples
 will be better, as it does not affect the climate. and it will
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
primary source of travelling. Hunting should be prohibited and serious actions should be taken by the government. In conclusion, It is observed that
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 trend has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in countries. So by taking appropriate
steps
Add a comma
steps,
show examples
 the problems should
eradicate
Wrong verb form
be eradicated
show examples
. Have healthy
tourism
Use synonyms
 in every country.

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task achievement
Your introduction sets the context for the essay, but it would benefit from clarity and coherence. Try to clearly state your thesis and your main points in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs need clearer topic sentences to signal the main idea of each paragraph. Also, the transition between thoughts could be smoother, which would help in improving the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
The examples provided could be more relevant and specific. For instance, instead of stating that hunting affects biodiversity in general, you might mention specific animals or ecosystems that are endangered due to tourism activities.
idea development
You have highlighted the negative impacts of tourism on the environment, which is an important aspect of the topic. You also recognize the revenue potential of tourism, demonstrating a balanced perspective on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • ecosystem
  • degradation
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecotourism
  • overcrowding
  • resource management
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • renewable energy
  • infrastructure
  • waste management
  • environmental impact
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