The practice of illegally hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries, particularly developing countries. What are the causes of such hunting? What are the effects on the animals, and on the wider human society in these countries and beyond?

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In today's digital age, illegally hunting
animals
in
wildlife
continues to cause worry in many countries, specifically developing countries.
This
writer believes that
people
usually hunt wild
animals
because of their worth and some believe that their body parts can make folk
medicine
for old
people
.
This
will cause rare
animals
to become extinct,
also
humans
's lives will no longer be as diverse as before. It can be understood that
people
nowadays tend to incontrollable poaching wild
animals
because when they sell the parts of their body, they will receive a large of money.
In other words
,
humans
just think about immediate benefits and do not think about the consequences.
For example
, lots of ethnic minority
people
with poor understanding in the mountains of Northern Vietnam usually illegally hunted
animals
in
wildlife
a couple of years ago because they heard that when they poached it and sold the smugglers, they would give them a lot of money.
Thus
, poaching wild
animals
is an illegal action that must be condemned.
Furthermore
, some
people
believe that the body parts of wild
animals
can make folk
medicine
to cure incurable diseases.
In other words
,
people
usually want to help their village's members and do not think about the disadvantages of the action they do.
For instance
, ethnic minority
people
in Vietnam always illegally hunt elephants to take their tusks to make a traditional
medicine
to cure mysterious diseases but nowadays we call that cancer.
Otherwise
,
people
have to learn more about the bad effects on the environment when they poach wild
animals
.
This
issue caused a wide range of bad effects on biodiversity and on
animals
in
wildlife
. Especially, all of the wild
animals
can be extinct one day because of the illegal hunting of
humans
and it
also
makes the quality of knowledge of
humans
strongly decrease.
Consequently
, when your children are born into life and they do not see how the rhino looks like and
also
elephants, it will be a bad problem for your children. In brief, the expansion of communities causes many bad effects on the biodiversity of
wildlife
,
This
can be explained by the way that
people
want to earn more money and make folk
medicine
which comes from these sources.
Nevertheless
, it contributed one hand to the destruction of the environment and the lack of knowledge about the rare species in nature of children a few years later.
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the effects of illegal hunting on human society and expand beyond the immediate context of ethnic minorities in Vietnam. This will provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt.
task achievement
Pay attention to the grammar and sentence structure. For example, "humans's lives will no longer be as diverse as before" can be corrected to "human lives will no longer be as diverse as before." Doing so will make your essay clearer and more professional.
coherence and cohesion
Include clear transitions between paragraphs to ensure smooth logical flow. For instance, use phrases like "In addition" or "Moreover" to connect your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and develops that idea fully before moving on to the next paragraph. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both the causes and effects of illegal hunting.
task achievement
Relevant specific examples, such as the mention of ethnic minorities in Vietnam, are used to support the main points.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively summarize the essay's main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Poaching
  • Endangered species
  • Biodiversity
  • Extinction
  • Ecosystem disruption
  • Conservation efforts
  • Stringent laws
  • Ecological balance
  • Impoverished communities
  • Cultural traditions
  • Rite of passage
  • Law enforcement
  • Tourism impact
  • Sustainable practices
  • Wildlife protection
  • Illegal trade
  • Population decline
  • Habitat destruction
  • Global concern
  • Ecological health
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