IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people believe that individuals over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Other think people should be allowed to work for as long as they choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #work
Most
people
 are of the view that
people
 of age 65 and above should not be let to
work
, while others are of the opinion that they should be allowed to continue working as they wish. I believe that older
people
 are holding up positions that should be taken up by young professionals, so they should be let go once they reach 65 years.
To begin
 with, some believe that the levels of productivity of older persons are quite low, and letting them
work
 past their retirement age will lower the overall productivity and revenues of companies. So, allowing older staff,
for example
, to continue working will reduce income and the level of satisfaction of clients if they are not attended to in a timely manner. Some individuals,
on the other hand
, are of the opinion that older professionals are experienced in both technical and administrative tasks,
hence
 they will be able to transfer knowledge to junior employees in a company. If retained within an organisation, they are able able to provide leadership and train young workers on how to carry out tasks efficiently. These senior citizens,
however
, still working are denying young
people
 some job opportunities. In Kenya,
for example
, the level of unemployment is significantly high and allowing these older generations to
work
 will worsen the situation. In my view, they should,
therefore
, be asked to go home and engage in some meaningful activities like farming so that employment opportunities can be created. In summary,
people
 have divergent views on whether older workers should be allowed to
work
 or not. I believe they should retire so that they can open up positions to be taken by younger generations in the job market.
Submitted by mtyree9893 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: