Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #world #money #illnesses #diseases #health #education #prevention

The variety of illnesses and diseases has become a main

Change preposition

apply

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concern around the world. In order to tackle that issue, governments spend a lot of

money

to cure and save

people

's lives and some may see that the governments give too much

money

only to cure

people

's, but in

health

education and its prevention.

Therefore

, I would like to explain the reasons why I support that idea and

also

, provide a plausible conclusion. As the number of

people

who get sick

are

Change the verb form

show examples

increasing, the doctors and nurses need the helper tools to get the diagnose as soon as possible and

also

to prevent the illness becomes worse. It means the

government

must involve providing

health

machinery.

This

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

innovation costs a lot of

money

than the traditional one.

For example

, the machine to do surgery nowadays is really good and will help

people

to a faster recovery. That means if the

Indonesia

Correct your spelling

Indonesian

show examples

government

provides that sophisticated equipment all over Indonesia, it charges more on treating

people

than its action to prevent some illnesses or diseases.

Secondly

, I believe that we have to take part in it. Our lifestyle influences our well-being. The authority has conducted many seminars talking about healthy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

and how to maintain our body system.

However

, our bad habits are not easy to change.

Moreover

, even though they know it is bad, they still do it.

For instance

, smoking may promote lung cancer and other breathing problems, but

people

, who addict to it, will still use it.

Thus

, it is very useless for the

government

to give much

money

on prevention if citizens always use their own desire and free will over their

health

. Overall, the sophisticated helper tools that help those

health

practitioners and citizens behaviour towards their

health

cause the

government

to put too much cash on treating

people

from diseases and

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

Hence

, I would reiterate my opinion that

this

statement is true and I agree with that.

Submitted by abeldyast on Mon Aug 30 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Your friend is thinking about learning to drive and would like some advice. Write a letter to your friend. Say why a driving license is advantageous. Recommend a driving school. Give extra guidance/tips.

Some people think more public money should be spent on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The advent of the internet has made it possible for people to work from home. Write an essay looking at the advantages and disadvantages of this professional arrangement.

The plans below shows the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year.

Some people say that young people learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others say that young people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time.both these views and give your own opinion.