Some people say a good diet and regular exercise are not necessary for a long and healthy life. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that healthy diet and doing sports regularly are not necessary for long life without any health problems. Personally, I partly agree with tis statement and in
this
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essay I will give detailed explanation why I came up with
this
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point of view.
To begin
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with, we should acknowledge that the main reasons why we mostly stay healthy is our regular movement and even exercises. It can benefit both digest and immune system, by removing harmful and toxic bacteria from our body.
Moreover
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, people who often do sports tend to wake up early and limit their screen time, meaning they will gain a a great opportunity to undermine problems related to sleeping and pysical health. To cite as an example, some researches recently found out that despite any age of the sportsmen, they will still feel energetic and young
while
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doing exercises.
In addition
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, following diet (especially, popular among females)
that is
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full of healthy and beneficial nutrients to us, and stopping tp consume fast food, we can prevent some issues which cause us in a negative way.
However
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, there are some circumstances that need to be considered, meaning our environment. As we know, global warning is becoming more and more widespead across the globe and influencing not only humanity, but
also
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animals and various species of plants. In my opinion, the rise of temperature and other environmental issues,
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as air pollution and scarcity of water have a detrimental effect on individuals' lifespans and its quality.
To conclude
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,
although
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we can make our lives more efficient by doing regular exercises and health diet, environment
also
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plays a acrucial role on our lifespans.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. You say you partly agree, but your ideas do not fully show how much you agree or disagree.
task response
Answer all parts of the question in a more direct way. Explain why diet and exercise are needed, and also why some people may still live long without them.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. The sports example is too general and not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body part and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts connect well, but some ideas jump too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and make each point easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You give a clear introduction and a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic paragraph structure with opening, body, and ending.
task response
You stay on the topic and talk about diet, exercise, and health.
task response
You try to show both sides before your final view.
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