You would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter •Explain what type of car you would like •Give details of when you would like the car •Request more information about the cost

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Dear Sir. I want to rent a
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for a holiday
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

month (from 26 to 29/1/2024).
A
Correct article usage
The

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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new
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has 7
seat
Change to a plural noun
seats

The singular noun seat follows a number other than one. Consider changing the noun to the plural form.

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, black colour, air-conditional, player, and
television
Correct article usage
a television

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, my family have 3 members,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply

It appears that the word but is unnecessary in this sentence. Consider removing it.

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when we travel, we always
many
Add a missing verb
do many

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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things
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food

It seems that foods may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, drinks… So, we need a
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have 7 seats.
The black
Correct article usage
Black

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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is my favourite colour,
furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I think that when we are camping on the mountain
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

colour will add to the mystery. With a long
travel
Remove the article
journey
trip

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun travel in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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so air-conditional will be coming benefits, for it will make
air
Add an article
the air

The noun phrase air seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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clean and cool. The player and television help everyone relax on
journey
Add an article
the journey

The noun phrase journey seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. The time I want to receive a
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the morning on Friday, 26/1/2024. Please fill up
fuel
Add an article
the fuel

The noun phrase fuel seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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before I take it. The final, please the current price list, I can choose the best for me. Note that I just
rent
Wrong verb form
rented

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb rent. Consider changing it.

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a
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

when
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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cost
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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30 to 50
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars

It seems that dollar may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Thank you in advance for your help. Sincerely. Ms Tam.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the letter could be improved by better organizing the information into separate paragraphs for the introduction, body (which should be split into multiple paragraphs for each point), and conclusion. Aim to organize your thoughts more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you include a formal greeting at the start and a suitable closing at the end of your letter. "Dear Sir," is too informal and abrupt for this context; "Dear Sir or Madam," would be more appropriate.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea. For example, separate the description of the car from the details regarding the rental period, and further provide a separate paragraph for your requests and questions to the agency.
task achievement
While you addressed all parts of the prompt, your response could be more focused and detailed, specifically regarding the type of car and the cost details. Avoid including irrelevant information such as your personal color preference, which does not pertain to the primary objectives of the letter.
task achievement
The letter's tone is not entirely suitable for formal correspondence with a service provider. Avoid informal language and maintain a consistent level of formality throughout. Furthermore, ensure your requests are polite and clear, avoiding statements that may come across as demands.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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