IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem pf our time is the loss of particular plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #pf #time #loss #plants #animals
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Nowadays, the world is experiencing many environmental problems causing by human activities. Some
people
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 believe that losing particular species of
plants
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 and
animals
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 is the main
problem
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affeting
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affecting
 environment while some opponents argue that there are more significant issues of
environment
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the environment
show examples
.
This
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 essay will discuss both views of these problems.
To begin
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 with, the loss of some
plants
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 and
animals
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 caused by
deforestiation
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deforestation
 is the most important
problem
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.
Plants
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 and
animals
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 could greatly affect our environment. They are linked directly to the balance of
ecosystem
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the ecosystem
an ecosystem
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.
For example
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, when
a
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the
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 number of trees decrease,
carbondioxcide
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carbon dioxide
 (CO2) will increase leading to climate changes. Since photosynthesis of
plants
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 needs CO2 as their crucial substance, the more shortage of
plants
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occours
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occurs
, the more CO2 from
pollution
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 is not eliminated. Another example is that animal dying is negative for our planet because it can cause other species to die according to
food
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the food
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 chain.
For instance
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, at the moment, over five
percent
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per cent
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 of insects
declines
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decline
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 every year.
This
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affect
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affects
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 directly to the lack of food sources for birds,
mamals
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mammals
, and reptiles. Those
animals
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 can be
extincted
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extinct
 in the future.
However
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, some
people
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 say that there are more environmental issues for
public
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the public
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 to concern
.
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about.
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 The important one is
pollution
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. There are air
pullution
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pollution
 from vehicles and toxic chemicals released from factories. To illustrate, toxic chemicals and air
pollution
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 negatively affect
people
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's health. They can cause
a
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apply
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respiratory
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disease
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discase
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disease
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 and
a
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apply
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lung cancer. Another crucial
problemy
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problem
 is livestock farming which rapidly rises every year.
This
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 can cause
a
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apply
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climate change because of
metane
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methane
 gas releasing from
animals
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’ farts. In conclusion, some
people
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 agree that
lossing
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losing
plants
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 and
animals
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is
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are
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main
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the main
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 environmental
problem
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 needed to be solved whereas others say that other
probles
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problems
such
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 as
pollution
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 and farming are more important. I realize that the
problem
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 that affects
people
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's health should be solved immediately and others
which
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who
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 do not need
an
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apply
show examples
urgent treatment should be taken care
in
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of in
show examples
 a long term as well.
Submitted by naruepat.san on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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