IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #tax
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It is certainly understandable that most
of
Change preposition
apply
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Add an article
the
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people wish to be able to keep all of the money they earn than pay
tax
Use synonyms
 to the
state
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.
However
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, in
fact
Add a comma
,fact
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 without
Use synonyms
tax
Add a comma
,tax
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 a
state
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 cannot develop well. As for now I totally disagree with
such
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 an idea even though I
also
Linking Words
 hope for
such
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 an ideal idea.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it must be put in mind that one of the biggest incomes of a
state
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 is from
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 paid by the citizens. Most of the states rely much on
tax
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,
for
Linking Words
instance
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,instance
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is
Correct your spelling
in
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 Indonesia. Around 60 to 70 per cent of their annual income is from
tax
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. So, could you imagine how would it be for Indonesia if all of the people of Indonesia refuse to pay
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 and prefer to keep all the money for themselves? I guess the
state
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 might develop very slow or not develop at all.
Secondly
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, as all of us might have known that the concept of the
tax
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 we paid is by us, from us and for us, which means that the
tax
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 we paid will be used by the
government
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 to fund the project made for us.
For instance
Linking Words
, to build road, toll, bridge so we have access for our car. Essentially,
such
Linking Words
tax
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 will be used to develop the
state
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 and for the sake of the citizen themselves. Without
such
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 toll, road or bridge we cannot use our car to travel to a remote area.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the
tax
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 is
also
Linking Words
 used for paying the operational of the
government
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,
for
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instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
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 to pay the salary of the governments and the officials, build governments’
building
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buildings
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, pay monthly electricity and water bill. Without
tax
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 our
government
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 might not operate well, lack workers or officials. Based on the abovementioned, I do believe that it is our responsibility as the citizen to give return to the
state
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 as we have been living in the land of the
state
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 by paying the
tax
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.
Therefore
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, as for now I totally disagree with the idea that people should keep all of the money they earn than paying
tax
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. Regardless, I
also
Linking Words
 hope the
government
Use synonyms
 could find a formula to be more independent.
Submitted by fransxaverius008 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
What to do next:
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