IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#leisure #activity #people #effects #popularity #individuals #society
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The bar chart shows the information about
the
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apply
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how long people usually used telephone calls in
UK
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the UK
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 from 1995 to 2002. The figures are given in
billion
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minutes
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. The information can be
divied
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divided
 into 2 groups those which
fratulated
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gratulated
 and those which had
increase
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an increase
show examples
 trend. Overall, it can
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be seen
see
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seen
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seem
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 that by far the highest amount of calls took place on
local-fixed
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the local-fixed
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line
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lines
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.
By contrast
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,
Mobile
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the Mobile
a Mobile
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 call was the lowest figures over 8 years.
To begin
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 with, local-fixed line. In 1995, the
amount
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number
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 of
minutes
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 in local was the greatest at 70
billion
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minutes
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 which was approximately twice more than national and international calls. There was
a
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an
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increase
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increasing
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 trend to the peak at 90
billion
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 in 1999
Linking Words
then
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than
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 the figures
morderately
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moderately
 declined back to 70
billion
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minutes
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. Moving to other groups which had growth
trend
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trends
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. The number of national and international steadily
climed
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climbed
claimed
 from 40 to 50
billion
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minutes
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 which was the
Linking Words
second highest
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second-highest
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 of UK telephone calls.
Linking Words
Moreover
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,Moreover
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 there were
slightly
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a slightly
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 increase
of
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in
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the
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apply
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mobile calls from approximately 5 to 10
billion
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 in 5 years.
However
Linking Words
, the mobile calls rapidly grew,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 rate among 3 call types, to 40
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activity
  • consumer culture
  • emotional satisfaction
  • consumerism
  • advertising influence
  • online shopping platforms
  • sense of pleasure
  • social interaction
  • boost the economy
  • compulsive shopping
  • materialism
  • environmental degradation
  • unsustainable demand
  • social inequalities
  • status through possessions
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