IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that education is the key to tackling hunger worldwide while others feel that the answer is in food aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #hunger #food #aid
The attitude towards reducing starvation around the world is rooted in one's perception of
food
-
education
 relations. One view maintains that educating
people
 is the only way to tackle
this
 problem. Held against
this
 opinion shows the importance of providing
food
 to face worldwide
hungerness
Correct your spelling
hungers
.Personally,I agree with the opinion of
education
 would decrease poverty and
hungerness
Correct your spelling
hungers
hungriness
. Those who support the notion of
education
 believe that teaching
people
 and making individuals aware of what's going on around them will result in a world without hungry children and society.
Education
 is a vital factor for rising up against governments that can't organize and manage society appropriately .
Furthermore
,the the wiser
people
 get ,the less effort is required to convince them to fight for their own rights,
hence
,
this
 will put a lot of pressure on the dysfunctional governance so that they would pay more attention to make more job opportunities that certainly leads to defeating
hunger
 problems in society.
For instance
, after
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 world ,war
people
 in Germany and many other countries were out of
food
 sources and
also
, many of them died of
hunger
 but after some years passed,giving the power to capable authorities made Germany one of the countries with the least number of
hungerness
Correct your spelling
hungers
hungriness
. On the other side of
this
 debate,giving a hand to societies that are suffering from starvation by giving them
food
 is worth paying attention to.There is a wide range of organizations and charities
such
 as 'action against
hunger
' charity that help different communities by giving them refreshments resulting in plunging the percentage of poor nations.
Although
 providing
Add an article
a meal
show examples
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 is crucial ,
this
 is not the solution for the extinction of
hungerness
Correct your spelling
hungriness
hungers
 in long term.As an
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
example we can take a close look at poverty and
hunger
 in Africa. In conclusion,we should take serious actions against the lack of
food
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our earth
such
 as
food
 aid or
education
.
however
,I believe that educating
people
 can completely solve
this
 challenge and lead to the elimination of
this
 problem.
Submitted by ginibts7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: