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Band 3.5

overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two and suggest the ways

#overpopulation #areas #two
Over the
last
 few decades, it has become very evident that
people
 are inclining more toward cities than villages. As per
recent
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the recent
a recent
show examples
 study , every year around 3% of
populution
Correct your spelling
population
 migrate to modern towns to experience better lifestyle and income generation sources.
However
,
this
 rapid
accerelation
Correct your spelling
acceleration
 would create a significant imbalance in
economy
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the economy
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.
Although
 there are several issues created due to
large
Change the article
a large
the large
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 number of
people
 relocating, there are two major ones to deal with.
Firstly
, more number
people
 in the cities would induce more workforce while
job
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 would remain
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.
This
 will lead to competition and only
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 will get
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of them would have to struggle.
For example
, in Penang , due to urbanisation it has become
extemely
Correct your spelling
extremely
 difficult to secure an admin
job
. Another factor would be pay scale would go down as
people
 would be willing to accept
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the job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 even at
lower
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a lower
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salary
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salaries
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 for
thier
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their
 survival.
This
 would have
adverse
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an adverse
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 impact on the overall earning capacity and would be
deterimental
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detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic growth. To resolve
this
 issue ,
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government
goverment
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the goverment
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 should invest in
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the country
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country side
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countryside
show examples
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, roads, hospitals, schools, and all
this
 would encourage
people
 to live and earn there. Perhaps based on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 talent ,one can make
decision
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the decision
a decision
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 to look for
source
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the source
a source
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 of income within
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 home town. On the other
side
Add a comma
,side
show examples
 it may not seem immediately obvious ,have some pretty significant impacts on the natural world.
Submitted by umapati.social on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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