Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of the society. Other, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, the importance of educating children is vividly substantial.
Although
parents are primary role models and educators in early development by instilling moral values and social norms, some people argue that academic facilities should be the place providing a structured social environment to learn cooperation, respect, and how to be responsible toward society. I believe that schools can be more efficient in educating children. On the one hand, parents have a crucial role in determining one's personality since infant age, where studies have shown that toddlers can imitate their parents' behaviour and understand what sort of things might upset each parent.
In addition
, it has been proven that many fundamental societal manners and norms are learned in juveniles by following their protectors' traits, which unconsciously aid them to become more responsible members of their community.
On the other hand
, educational institutions, with updated knowledge and innovative methods of nurturing youngsters are capable of shaping societal views and preparing children for incoming societal integration, so that they can act cooperatively and enhance community growth in all aspects.
For instance
, teachers can assign pupils to a project where the essence of teamwork, the ability to interact, communicate, and collaborate properly, and a sense of responsibility to the team and one another are being taught subconsciously. In conclusion, even though the parental place in preparing youngsters to promote their societal sense of responsibility is undoubtedly accepted, schools as academically structured facilities are effective measures to ensure the learning of required skills and cultural expectations done effectively.
Submitted by Ali Davoodi on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your ideas. Adding a specific example could strengthen the argument about schools providing structured environments.
task achievement
Ensure all main points are fully explained to improve clarity. Consider adding more detail about the balance between parental and school roles.
coherence cohesion
Make transitions between paragraphs smoother for better flow. Use linking words or phrases to better connect ideas between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework.
task achievement
Main points are effectively supported and developed with relevant arguments.
coherence cohesion
The discussion is well-balanced, providing viewpoints on both sides before giving your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • moral values
  • social norms
  • structured environment
  • cooperation
  • respect
  • communal responsibilities
  • decision-making
  • societal integration
  • consistent messages
  • cultural expectations
  • complementary roles
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