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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All over the world scientists are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

#world #scientists #obesity #children #adults #rise
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Being overweight can be considered
as
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a
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serious
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a serious
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 health issue and eventually can turn into
major
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a major
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 disease
for
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,for
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 example, heart attack or high
cholestrol
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cholesterol
. As per the recent study, there is a 20% increase in patients suffering from illnesses which are caused due to obesity Nowadays, a large number of
people
 are leading a sedentary lifestyle which is considered as one of the major reasons for it. Notwithstanding, technological advancement
do
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does
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 have its negative impact as we can notice
people
 getting fatter in urban areas as compared to rural.
For example
, city
people
 don't walk much and spent long working hours on the computer and
tend
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totend
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 gain more weight
especially
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,especially
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 during
pendemic
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pandemic
pandemics
endemic
. Social media
also
 contributes to
this
 cause as
people
 do get fascinated by misleading ads on food-related items like fitness drinks which is nothing but sugar ,
for example
,milo.
Such
 unhealthy eating habits especially among the younger generation is a serious matter which needs to be tackled. Many of us may not be aware that it contains 80% sugar which is not healthy at all. But 90% of parents believe that Milo is a healthy drink.
Likewise
, there are many other products consuming which on daily basis can be harmful. I believe
,
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apply
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 we all should play an integral part in creating and spreading health awareness together with fitness authorities.
Firstly
, the government should identify unhealthy products and ban their supply.
Secondly
 , they should promote jogging or walk by building more parks or gyms within residential vicinity ,
also
 they should encourage cooperate to organise health events and motivate employees to participate in
such
 activities. With these initiatives , we should be able to give a better ecosystem to our society and help to keep the health-check control.
Submitted by umapati.social on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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