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Band 5

Money should be spent on promoting healthy lifestyle rather than in treatment of the people. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#money #lifestyle #treatment #people
Although
 I agree with some
money
 should pay to promote a healthy
lifestyle
 , the Budget for medical
treatment
 is not a waste and is more significant necessary when the emergency events .
This
 essay will discuss
this
 point using examples and demonstrate the supporting ideas for
this
 argument. On the one hand,
money
 spent to support a healthy
lifestyle
 is beneficial for society. influencing the people to pay more attention to their health , and pre-protected principle to the suffering illness . To illustrate,
money
 countries utilise the influencer to convince their citizen to exercise and ban the advertising of junk food, contribute to the government can save the imported medicine from abroad.
Therefore
,
this
 is the facts that why
money
 should be spent on promoting a healthy
lifestyle
On the other hand
, there are some arguments that many people do not consider above. The budget spending to enhance the
treatment
 is play important role in the severe case that being healthy's person can not relieve the symptom
For instance
,
As a result
, The authority should more play a key role in supporting the medical
treatment
 rather than the
lifestyle
 of healthy To sum up, even though
money
 should be utilised to advertising a healthy
lifestyle
 to persuade their citizens, medical
treatment
 is the way to solve the root cause and sustainable
Submitted by phichayananwaiyanate on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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