Ratio of poverty is increasing worldwide. What are the reasons for world poverty? What can be done to help the poor?

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Introduction

More and more people think that poverty

rates

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are increasing in many countries around the world,

while

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they want to know the main reason and the appropriate method to solve

this

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issue. From my perspective,

this

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can be solved by reducing

corruption

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rates

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government

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Body paragraph 1

First of all, I would argue that the root cause of

this

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concern is the high level of

corruption

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in society. The argument is that some

government

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employees in the

country

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steal the majority of public funds, which leads to the unequal distribution of wealth.

This

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phenomenon results in many thefts and violent actions in society, ultimately leading to an increase in the poverty rate in the

country

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. A study conducted by the Department of Economics at Melbourne University in 2025 concluded that 85% of people living in African countries were poor because of the unequal distribution of wealth.

Therefore

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, the economic system will deteriorate

due to

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the presence of

this

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approach.

Body paragraph 2

In addition

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, I am convinced that combating

corruption

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across all

government

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and private entities is the solution to

this

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concern. What I mean is that

this

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process is able to empower fine-minded employees, who allow them to manage and lead the

government

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This

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process will decrease the number of corrupt people, which in turn raises the wealth

rates

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in the

country

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For instance

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, a group of unfair employees in african

country

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were eliminated by the judicial process.

As a result

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, the performance of the social system will be enhanced if that method is taken into account.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

while

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high

corruption

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rates

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were the main factor for poverty around the world, combating these activities through the law was the key solution for

this

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problem.

emad.alshatrii

Oct 27, 2026

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Task response

Answer both parts in a wider way. You give one main reason, corruption, and one main answer, but world poverty has many causes. Add ideas such as poor schools, job loss, war, illness, and high food prices. Then explain how each answer can help.

Task response

Make the link between corruption and poverty clearer. Explain that money for schools, roads, health care, and jobs may be stolen, so poor people get less help and fewer chances to work.

Task response

Some claims are too strong or unclear. For example, corruption does not always lead to theft and violence. Use careful words such as “can” or “may”, and explain the steps between the cause and the result.

Task response

Use examples that are clear and believable. Do not use an exact study or number unless you can fully explain it. The example about an African country is too general; name a real place or use a simple made-up example without numbers.

Coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, reason, answer, and ending. Keep this shape, but make each body paragraph start with a direct main idea that fully answers the question.

Coherence and cohesion

Some sentences do not connect clearly. For example, “fine-minded employees” and “raises the wealth rates” are hard to understand. Use simple, direct wording: “honest workers can use public money for services and job plans.”

Coherence and cohesion

Use linking words carefully. “First of all”, “In addition”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion” help, but also show cause and result with words like “because”, “so”, “as a result”, and “therefore”.

Coherence and cohesion

Keep the same focus in each paragraph. The first body paragraph moves from corruption to wealth, then crime, then the economy. Choose one clear chain of ideas and develop it step by step.

Task response

You answer both questions by giving a reason for poverty and a way to help poor people.

Task response

Your main view is clear: you see corruption as an important cause, and stronger law action as a possible answer.

Coherence and cohesion

The essay has clear paragraph breaks and includes both an opening and an ending.

Coherence and cohesion

You use some useful signpost words to guide the reader through your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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