IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, think that life of elderly in the modern world is much better than it was in the past. Please show your idea with explanation, examples and your knowledge.

#people #world #life #show #idea #explanation
Today, most of the old
people
’s happiness index inched up, which meant plenty of ageing
people
 were gradually beginning to enjoy their lives. Adversely, some
people
 do think getting old seems to be worse, but I do believe each individual who is ageing, had a better
life
 than the previous. For their personal
life
, there were significant changes to old
people
. In the past, many ageing
people
 couldn’t have a pleasant
life
 or environment. I remembered my grandfather who seriously worked for the whole family with his body tired out in the early time.
Although
 they worked extremely hard, they didn’t have anything to help them relax or get a good rest.
In contrast
, nowadays, as old
people
, have not only high-technologies,
such
 as physiotherapy couch, which my mother-in-law used frequently but
also
 the convenience vehicle, an exclusive car for the elderly.
Moreover
, articles for daily
life
also
 have become much abundant. Families
also
 treat old men better at the house. In my family, almost every best item will offer to old
people
first
. In the whole society, old
people
’s states became highly important. The government offered them many free programs, which was very notable in medical areas. There were special seats in the bus, high-quality bead houses and many particular service stations for the elders. As I knew, the younger gave up their seats to old men has become a general phenomenon.
Besides
, governments or local schools always advocated for young teenagers to help the elders. In summary, old
people
 became much happier about their lives, at the same time, ageing problems became severe in so many countries, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t respect the elders. In my perspective, we need to think of a proper way to solve the issue, and
also
 ensure we can always catch sight of old men’s smiling and benevolent faces the whole time.
Submitted by rhj30260987 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: