IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Young people have attitude and ideas different from that of their parents and grandparents. How do these attitudes differ between young people and their parents and grandparents? In your opinion, do you think it would cause problems?

#people #attitude #parents #grandparents #attitudes
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Over the past few decades, our generation gap has increased exponentially due to paradigm
shift
Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
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 in culture and after
affects
Replace the word
effects
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 of technological advancement. It has
significant
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a significant
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 impact on
thinking
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the thinking
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 process of teenagers which has created differences with
older
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the older
an older
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 generation.
This
 essay is going to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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these variations and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 impact. On one hand, teens nowadays are breaking
glass
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the glass
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 ceiling and at
very
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a very
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 young age becoming
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an entrepreneur
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entrepreneur
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entrepreneurs
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.
For ex
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Forex
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 , Oyo CEO is one of the youngest
billionaire
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billionaires
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 at the age
26
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of 26
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 and demonstrated exceptional leadership skills. While
,
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apply
show examples
this
 can be considered as a positive change in mindset and outlook which may not have
happen
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happened
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 during older days as adults usually follow the herd mentality of growing organically in
professional
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the professional
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 world. On on other hand, if we discuss
about
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apply
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emotional intelligence where our teenagers mostly
lacks
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lack
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as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
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 they tend to rebel with
family
Correct article usage
the family
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 value system.
This
 causes one of the major differences among both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
generations which is resulting in breakups among couples, failed marriages and broken families. These social problems
contributes
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contribute
show examples
 to the upbringing of kids during
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 tender age.
For ex
Correct your spelling
Forex
show examples
 , in
US
Correct article usage
the US
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 divorce is very common and
teeagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 start living on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own as early as 15. As per
recent
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the recent
a recent
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 study,
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a child
the child
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child
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children
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 brought up in
abusive
Correct article usage
an abusive
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enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
environments
 will
results
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result
show examples
 in poor educational outcomes. In my opinion, we should learn older generations about
qualities
Correct article usage
the qualities
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 and values of being a great human and
allign
Correct your spelling
align
 our thought with them.
Although
 we may agree to disagree
but
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apply
show examples
we should not ignore
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 suggestions and try to follow
thier
Correct your spelling
their
this
 advice.
Also
, we try to make them understand our viewpoint in trying things in a new way and work together with them to create a new world.
Submitted by umapati.social on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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