New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
The rise of new technologies has greatly changed the way
children
spend their free time
. While
there are several advantages to this
, such
as interactive learning and global connectivity, I believe the disadvantages, including a decline in physical activity and the potential harm to social skills, outweigh the positive aspects.
There are several benefits of spending time
on technology, one of which is the opportunity for interactive learning. Educational apps like Duolingo allow children
to learn languages in an engaging and fun way, making learning enjoyable. This
form of learning can be more effective than traditional methods, as it uses games and rewards to keep children
motivated. Another positive aspect is the ability to connect with others globally. Online platforms allow children
to interact with their peers from around the world, broadening their understanding of different cultures and perspectives. For instance
, a child playing an online multiplayer game might communicate with players from various countries.
However
, despite these merits, there are significant drawbacks to children
spending excessive time
on technology. One major issue is the decline in physical activity. With digital entertainment becoming a central part of their daily routines, many children
spend long hours on devices, which leads to sitting conditions. For example
, children
who spend lots of their time
watching TV or playing video games are at risk of becoming overweight or experiencing other health problems, such
as eye strain.
Additionally
, excessive screen time
can have a detrimental effect on children
's social skills. When children
spend too much time
interacting online, they may struggle to engage in face-to-face conversations. For example
, a child who spends more time
on social media or gaming might find it difficult to navigate real-world social situations, leading to feelings of isolation or difficulty in building strong relationships.
In conclusion, while
new technologies offer advantages, the disadvantages, such
as decreased physical activity and weak social skills result in greater risks. Therefore
, it is crucial to find a balance in technology use to ensure children
's overall
well-being and development.Submitted by Writing9 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clearer distinction between the introduction and the body of the essay. Consider adding a sentence at the end of the introduction that outlines the main points you'll discuss.
task achievement
Provide more variety in the types of examples and support used in the essay. While the examples are relevant, including additional perspectives or data could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, with a well-structured argument highlighting both the advantages and disadvantages of new technologies in children's free time.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as mentioning Duolingo as an interactive learning tool, effectively illustrates the points made in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas ensures that the reader can follow the argument easily from point to point, maintaining coherence throughout.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.