IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People can use a mobile phones to answer work and home calls at any place or seven days a week. Do you think there are more negative or positive effects on both individuals and society.

#people #phones #work #home #place #seven #week #effects #individuals #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that in
this
Linking Words
 era individuals are able to attend calls with their
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 at every place and
time
Use synonyms
 to answer professional and personal calls. I personally believe that negative
effects
Use synonyms
outwieght
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighed
outweighs
 the positive
effects
Use synonyms
. To commence with,
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 play
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emergency situations.
In other words
Linking Words
,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 if someone
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
stucked
Correct your spelling
stuck
 in a problem
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, accidents, health problems. So, they can use their mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 to make calls to get instant help from the hospitals or family members.
Hence
Linking Words
,
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 can save people's life
wheneve
Correct your spelling
whenever
 they face any devasting problem in their life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
effects
Use synonyms
 of using
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 to answer
work
Use synonyms
 and
home related
Add a hyphen
home-related
show examples
 calls can not be ignored because it has harmful
effects
Use synonyms
 on health. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, calls at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night
time
Use synonyms
 can create disturbance in sleep that leads to catastrophic consequences on people's health owing to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less and low quality sleep.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted in Greece in 2017 cleared that mobile phone calls
distrupt
Correct your spelling
disrupt
 the concentration on studies and any
work
Use synonyms
 that leads to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 the reason of low productivity and less interest in
work
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 evidence proves that
portability
Correct article usage
the portability
show examples
 of mobile calls affect the precious
time
Use synonyms
 that
time
Use synonyms
 should
be utilize
Change the verb form
be utilized
show examples
 for
work
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 calls via
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 invent many opportunities for
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
according
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my opinion,
destructive
Correct article usage
the destructive
show examples
 development of mobile calls
overwieght
Correct your spelling
overweight
 the constructive development due to the diseases like sleep disorders and less concentration.
Submitted by karan45j on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: