In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products.Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #food #restaurants #supermarkets #money #schools #products #development

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These days,

schools

in some countries receive money aiming to advertise products from junk

food

stores and supermarkets. From my point of view, I totally believe that

this

statement is a negative development for several reasons which will be discussed in

this

essay. One of the main reasons is that fast

food

is not good for children's health. To explain, it contains high calories, sodium and sugar levels which can lead to numerous chronic diseases in childhood. Obesity,

for example

, is the most popular illness in

students

today.

Moreover

students

should eat various good ingredients,

such

as protein and vitamins, to improve their brain and muscles.

This

is crucial for their learning ability. Another important reason is that

schools

should provide the best meals for all

students

. If school foods are dominated by sponsoring products from restaurants or supermarkets,

schools

cannot select

food

items by themselves.

As a result

, it may decrease the overall quality of lunch for

students

. According to many pieces of research conducted by Thammasat University, a large number of supermarkets in Thailand support urban

schools

by forcing these

schools

to give only their products to children. Even teachers disagree with

this

action but they do have not sufficient budget to buy others. In conclusion, I strongly claim that

this

idea is a downward change as eating too much fast

food

can cause various illnesses in young people and

food

sponsoring limits choices for teachers to serve the best meals for

students

In addition

, governments should play an important role to implement a law controlling

this

activity.

Submitted by molwan_tae on Thu Sep 02 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products.Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smart phone outweigh the disadvantages.

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying products (such as cellphones) or services (medical treatments) do you agree or disagree?

Some people arque that it is more Important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life, Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.