IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Despise the advances made in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done to solve this problem?

#advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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It is indeed a fact that there has been a significant development in the agriculture industry all across the globe,
however
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, a large number of mass is still starving.
This
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 essay will discuss the potential reason for
this
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 situation and possible solutions to avoid those issues.
To begin
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 with, the reason why despite a good amount of
food
Use synonyms
 available, many
people
Use synonyms
 have to sleep empty stomach is their insufficient purchasing power. It means even though a variety of
food
Use synonyms
 options are available, many
people
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 do not have enough money to afford
such
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 edibles to feed themselves and their families.
For instance
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, Nigeria even after becoming an agricultural giant to export the rice all across the globe, severe scarcity of
food
Use synonyms
 consumed by an average individual residing in a community situated in the outskirts of Nigeria have been identified as they cannot purchase basic rations sold on a general price.
As a result
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, they end up compromising
with
Change preposition
apply
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their appetite.
Therefore
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, many
individuals
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 remain foodless due to their unaffordability of basic
food
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 items.
Such
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 concern can easily be tackled by minimizing the
food
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 price for those poor
individuals
Use synonyms
 who have to compromise with their hunger due to financial issues. It means, the basic rations can be heavily subsidised or can be given to the unprivileged without a charge as the agriculture industry has more than enough to feed all the
people
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.
For instance
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, the Delhi government provides free rations to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 below the poverty line.
As a result
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, even poor
people
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 do not have to starve. Conclusively, despite
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agricultural
growth
Add a comma
,growth
show examples
 many
individuals
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 remain hungry because of the scarcity of sufficient money to buy basic
food
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 items,
however
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,
this
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 problem can easily be solved by providing them
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 basic
food
Use synonyms
 items for free by the government.
Submitted by ankit.hart on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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