IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, crimes rates amongst younger people has been rising. Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

#countries #crimes #rates #people
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There is a growing number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 committed by teenagers and it occurs immense concerns throughout the world. Being exposed by diverse crime cases and the fact of minor frauds have become universal are considered as major reasons for the phenomenon.
However
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, it is believed that it could be solved by changing
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 atmosphere as well as providing concrete education of
crimes
Use synonyms
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 punishments.
This
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 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons and the measures for the issue in depth. It is an irrefutable truth that nowadays young generations are exposed to
crimes
Use synonyms
 due to
advernt
Correct your spelling
advent
 and invigoration of the internet. To be more specific, because
of
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apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV, the internet, the social media always share fresh news of
crimes
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continuosly
Correct your spelling
continuously
,
crimes
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 may not sound serious anymore to youngsters.
Additionally
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,
thesesdays
Correct your spelling
these days
theses days
people
Use synonyms
 are always in danger of scams by calls, emails and text messages.
Theses
Correct your spelling
These
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 minor scams have become extremely common in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, it could entice young
people
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 to commit a crime as a way of making money.
Thus
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, preventing teenagers from
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crimes
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 is
substancially
Correct your spelling
substantially
 important. In order to achieve
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 successful result
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, changing
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 atmosphere should be done
first
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. To explain,
people
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 ought to treat
crimes
Use synonyms
 seriously, regardless of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 level.
That is
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 to say, even for minor
crimes
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should not be considered
as
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apply
show examples
acceptable mistakes. More importantly, detailed education
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
crimes
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 should be provided.
For example
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,
Add an article
the school
a school
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 must teach what actions are
crimes
Use synonyms
 and what punishments will follow
as a result
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, so teenagers can have a better notion of
crimes
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in recent times, juvenile
crimes
Use synonyms
 have been increased. It is widely believed that the causes are that young
people
Use synonyms
 are exposed to
crimes
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 more than ever due to
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
internet
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the internet
show examples
 and smart devices, and petty scams are ubiquitous all over the world.
Nevertheless
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, if fast actions
such
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 as treating
crimes
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 and criminals with strict
strandards
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standards
, plus, offering adequate education,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would play a pivotal role to decrease the number of juvenile delinquency.
Submitted by ohyounhye on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rates
  • rising
  • younger people
  • causes
  • solutions
  • parental guidance
  • peers
  • socioeconomic factors
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • educational opportunities
  • media influence
  • substance abuse
  • recreational activities
  • law enforcement
  • rehabilitation programs
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