IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many countries, crimes rates amongst younger people has been rising. Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

#countries #crimes #rates #people
There is a growing number of
crimes
 committed by teenagers, and it occurs immense concerns throughout the world. Being exposed to diverse crime cases and the fact that minor frauds have become universal
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 considered as major reasons for the phenomenon.
However
, it is believed that it could be solved by changing the social atmosphere as well as providing concrete education of
crimes
 and their punishments.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons and the measures for the issue in depth. It is an irrefutable truth that nowadays young generations are exposed to
crimes
 due to the advent and invigoration of the internet. To be more specific, because TV, the internet, the social media always share fresh news of
crimes
 continuously,
crimes
 may not sound serious anymore to youngsters.
Additionally
, these days
people
 are always in danger of scams by calls, emails and text messages. These minor scams have become extremely common in society. It could entice young
people
 to commit a crime as a way of making money.
Thus
, preventing teenagers from committing
crimes
 is substantially important. In order to achieve a successful result, changing the social atmosphere should be done
first
. To explain,
people
 ought to treat
crimes
 seriously, regardless of their level.
That is
 to say, even for minor
crimes
, it should not be considered acceptable mistakes. More importantly, detailed education on
crimes
 should be provided.
For example
, a school must teach what actions are
crimes
 and what punishments will follow
as a result
, so teenagers can have a better notion of
crimes
. In conclusion, in recent times, juvenile
crimes
 have been increased. It is widely believed that the causes are that young
people
 are exposed to
crimes
 more than ever due to the development of the internet and smart devices, and petty scams are ubiquitous all over the world.
Nevertheless
, if fast actions
such
 as treating
crimes
 and criminals with strict standards, plus offering adequate education, it would play a pivotal role to decrease the number of juvenile delinquency.
Submitted by ohyounhye on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rates
  • rising
  • younger people
  • causes
  • solutions
  • parental guidance
  • peers
  • socioeconomic factors
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • educational opportunities
  • media influence
  • substance abuse
  • recreational activities
  • law enforcement
  • rehabilitation programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: