In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop

It is true that some

people

argue that the primary purpose of going to the shopping

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

to go shopping.

However

, other

people

nowadays often claim that the shopping

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

is becoming a fascinating place for leisure time. As far as I am concerned, I completely agree that many

people

tend to go there for entertainment. In the twentieth century, a significantly larger number of

people

are using the internet for purchasing online these days.

Firstly

, numerous customers admit shopping online is more interesting and convenient than buying at a traditional mall.

For example

, many websites

such

as Amazon and Alibaba supply a wide variety of products from many countries all over the world, namely books, electronics, computers, cosmetics,

cloth

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

fashion and video games.

Secondly

, those platforms are designed to be more attractive and offer good customer

services

Fix the agreement mistake

service

show examples

Furthermore

, during holidays customers might obtain a special discount, so they will save more money.

As a result

, various sites can retain their consumers and make them satisfied.

On the other hand

, the shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

are more luxurious and modern, which is becoming a tremendous place for entertainment. The reason for

this

is that the shopping malls have various state-of-the-art facilities,

for instance

, gyms, spas, swimming pools and figure skating.

In addition

, malls

also

have a range of well-known food and drink branches at reasonable prices. The other reason for

this

is that there are a lot of fun activities for teenagers and even adults, particularly those who love to play bowling, basketball and climbing.

Moreover

, visitors can go there to watch movies, exhibitions and special events and they can

also

take photos with their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

to keep their happy memories. In conclusion, in today’s

world

Add a comma

world,

show examples

both arguments have their own considerable element in society.

Whereas

, I strongly believe that shopping malls are going to be ideal places for everyone to make friends, relax and enjoy themselves in leisure time.

Submitted by trananhtan1013 on Fri Sep 03 2021

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coherence cohesion

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task achievement

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

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