IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Unmanned vehicles will become more and more popular in the future. Passengers travelling inside these robot cars will be only human. Do you think the benefits of these surpass the drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#vehicles #future #passengers #robot #cars #surpass
Unmanned
vehicles
 will become more and more popular in the future.Passengers inside these robot cars will be only
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think the benefits of these surpass the drawbacks. As you know,humans are
also
 an important reason for the occurrence of
traffic
 accidents. Sense when participating in
traffic
 of each driver is extremely necessary,but there are many drivers who do not care about it,lead to serious
traffic
 accidents.So driverless
car
 is a great innovation helps each country to reduce the number of accidents.When
people
 in an unmanned vehicle,they are just a passenger so do not worry about when the accident happened For many
people
, parking is
such
 a nightmare.If you have a driverless
car
,you do not have to worry about
this
 problem.The system in a
car
 will use technology to park the
car
 safely with human assistance.It is very helpful for many drivers.
Besides
 that, unmanned
vehicles
also
 help to reduce
traffic
 jams, air pollution.Not only that,
this
car
 improves the ability of
people
 with disabilities to participate in
traffic
 and help
people
 choose the fastest way. In spite of
many
Correct article usage
the many
show examples
 benefits of unmanned
vehicles
, these
vehicles
 are just machines so they can not make decisions like
Add an article
a human
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.And in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it takes a long time to be able to use
this
 vehicle.
Submitted by doibichhoa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: