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Band 5.5

Government spend a lot of money on public celebration such as national holiday and public festival. Some people say that government must spend money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree

#government #money #celebration #holiday #people
The prompt claims that authorities utilize much of their financial
resources
 on public celebrations and festivals. Some are of the opinion that they should spend money on much more necessary things. I completely agree with the
above said
Add a hyphen
above-said
show examples
 idea as financial assistance is much needed for
hospitals
 development and building education centres.
To begin
 with, monetary
resources
 should be invested in building more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hospitals
 and making existing one's more equipped.
This
 is because the health of citizens is a major concern area for any government as it is the basic necessity to be fulfilled by them.
Moreover
 ,
well equipped
Add a hyphen
well-equipped
show examples
 health institutions will ensure speedy and correct treatment for diverse diseases and save
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
 of individuals.
For instance
, in the current pandemic of the corona, Indian
hospitals
 lacked ventilators supply due to which huge deaths were reported which would not have taken place if our
hospitals
 were well furnished.
Furthermore
, academic institutions development is another parameter to be
layed
Correct your spelling
played
 much emphasis on in terms of appropriate utilization of governments money. Studies are the basic right of citizens which marks the future of the nation and contribute
towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
 its progress. In rural areas, it is been neglected due to lack of funding and
thus
 investing
resources
 in it will be beneficial. To exemplify, on being asked to youngsters in rural areas why they don't go to schools, the majority responded that it is too far from their district/town and they can't afford it.
This
 clearly shows that unprivileged people lack
resources
 which government can easily fulfil. To sum up, though investing
resources
 in public ceremonies is important to keep
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 culture alive,
however
 seeing the current situation , investment is required to be done in health and education centres which will ultimately lead to a prosperous nation .
Submitted by joyveerbajaj on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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