Some people think that children should be involved in any kind of sport while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #sport

It is widely believed that involving in

sport

is essential for

children

's development.

However

, some people argue that

children

don't need to be a part of the

sport

Instead

, they could develop themselves by participating in other activities. In the following paragraphs, I will examine both of these viewpoints in detail before concluding. It is undeniable that playing any

sport

will develop

children

in several aspects.

For example

children

will gain experience in how to play and communicate with other people. Developing soft skills

such

as leadership, teamwork is vital to them. Apart from social skills, they can

also

learn how to build a strong body because exercise will make them healthy.

In addition

, the most important thing that any child could learn from being an athlete is discipline. Learning how to give and forgive is what they could learn from competition games.

In contrast

, some parents believe that

children

can gain experience and develop their skills by doing other activities.

For example

, being a member of

music

Correct article usage

a music

show examples

band will enhance their abilities in several areas, including living with others, teamwork, listening to each other.

Moreover

, another reason why parents do not want

allow

Fix the infinitive

to allow

show examples

their

children

to involve in

sport

is that

children

may get injured by playing with other

children

accidents

Fix the agreement mistake

accident

show examples

. In conclusion, both participating in any sports and not doing so will allow the

children

to develop themselves one way or another.

Therefore

, from my point of view, I believe that

children

should be involved in sports teams because they will gain benefits which they could not buy anywhere.

Submitted by kanokwann.joy on Fri Sep 03 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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