Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that

education

Use synonyms

fees for students lead

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

spending of the

government

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, which should prioritize the investment in leisure

activities

Use synonyms

for young people.

This

Linking Words

essay disagrees with that suggestion because schooling is far more important than entertainment.

Education

Use synonyms

is a necessary part of human being development. A citizen with no

education

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and with a weak level of schooling

can’t

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be more beneficial for society than someone who is an expert in entertainment.

However

Linking Words

, the term “

education

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” has to be well-defined. Indeed, materials taught at school don’t only involve knowledge

Change preposition

show examples

science or literature, but

Correct pronoun usage

they

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also

Linking Words

provide a strong awareness concerning the way of life and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

respect for the other, qualities that are essential for anyone and, that

can’t

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be learnt on a soccer pitch or on a theatre scene.

For instance

Linking Words

, a majority of professional football players become ruined after the end of their careers because of the lack of

education

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they are featuring. These

last

Linking Words

generally don’t know how to invest their money and find huge difficulties in finding jobs in other sectors. It is true that extra-time

activities

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like the practice of

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

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or volunteering might be consequential for a balanced spirit.

However

Linking Words

, the principal aim of

government

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is to bring up reliable citizens with an upvalue for the whole community. The point is that politics

can’t

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be involved in every aspect of someone’s life. There is a fundamental structure provided by the country for its inhabitants like

education

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and health care infrastructures. The

government

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can’t

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get involved in everything though.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, extra

activities

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are allowed and encouraged at public schools,

such

Linking Words

as associations and sports

practice

Fix the agreement mistake

practices

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, high schools and universities are distinguished by their official sports teams and numerous tournaments are regularly organized. In conclusion, the

government

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should give priority to the improvement of public

education

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. In fact, a powerful country goes inescapably through well-educated people.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, training at school

also

Linking Words

gives a certain knowledge in art, sport and plenty of other extra

activities

Use synonyms

namoismaFri Nov 01 2024

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task achievement

Ensuring all discussion points are clearly linked back to your central claim will strengthen your argument. Although you present your points clearly, reinforcing the connections between education and societal benefits will improve the essay's effectiveness.

coherence cohesion

Integrate more varied sentence structures to enhance readability. While your sentences are correct and well-constructed, more variety will maintain reader interest and help clarify complex ideas.

introduction conclusion present

The essay starts with a clear introduction that presents the writer’s stance effectively. You have succinctly introduced the main argument, which sets a clear direction for the body paragraphs.

logical structure

The paragraphs are logically structured, and each point supports the overall argument. Your use of transitions helps guide the reader through your thought process smoothly, which is commendable.

relevant specific examples

Your essay includes relevant and specific examples which serve to illustrate your points, such as the mention of professional footballers. These examples add depth to your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community?

In the past，many people had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repair to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this change is happening? how far is this situation true in your county?

Both men and woman care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

97.In many countries, the amount of waste produced by households and industries is increasing at an alarming rate. What are the main causes of this situation, and what measures could be taken to tackle the problem?

Directors of large organizations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.